It isn’t every day you meet the man who’s ultimately in love with you and fully accepts who you are. It isn’t every day that he continues to support you over the long haul, from a frightening public disaster to a reality-show marriage to your current man’s promising family unit.
But that’s exactly what happened to my now husband, a performer who is beginning a break from his long-running theater tour as Monty Python’s Spamalot. And as we’ve learned to expect from Spamalot, things do get a little weird.
Though I first met him before the creation of the show, it wasn’t until Spamalot — in which he plays Captain Hook — premiered in London in 2003 that our relationship became publicly known. He did not appear onscreen. It was a handful of sketches that seemed to take the focus off the actual physical man.
For example, everyone knew of John Cleese’s iconic catchphrase, “I’m a stick insect!” — the whole premise of the show: the man just a stick insect. But there was nothing to compare him to. Even if the audience had been familiar with the Python movies that had inspired Spamalot, they had never seen him play his character — nor of course were those movies anything like Hook.
Is Hook a freak? Well, he’s a pirate on an African island, for one thing. The sight of him in a costume is an eyesore, even on a stage that otherwise radiates incandescent elegance. Is he that upset at having to face the realities of being a pirate that he loses respect for his master, the woman he would eventually marry and family? Maybe he’s just overexcited from a performance of Sweeney Todd and could be forgiven his enthusiasm for a little nonstop mayhem.
In any case, I still thought he was just a talented man. But his humor has grown darker over the years, and as he has found himself surrounded by a company of talented actors — who might be considered far more talented than me — he must have had to allow some of the humor, that initially lightened the tone of the show, to be replaced by real life. But when my husband told me he was really in love with me — really — I couldn’t resist laughing.
Many people have asked how a man could actually love his own wife. It’s not an easy question to answer. I say, simple: You just might.
He will always be my best friend. He’ll be with me for the rest of my life. And he’ll want to spend as much time with me as possible.
I’ll tell you that the greatest gift of my life, but I don’t really mean it. The truth is I’ve never loved anybody before. I love him.
And he says he loves me too.