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Friday, May 7, 2021

Ivanka Trump: Father Time is calling

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In her column, Ivanka calls her father out for not revealing his creation of the idea for her ice cream flavors.

Maybe this would have been a good time for a teenage daughter to start thinking about a life in public service. So if you love ice cream, what would you want to call your own kind of flavor? And how could you build such a flavor without attracting too much national attention?

The Pizza Pretzel is a sublime, complex, entirely enticing mix of vanilla, chocolate, cereal and cookie, whose diversity makes it particularly sublime. But for a modern pizzeria, it’s going to require ad hoc advertising, and the last thing a pizzeria wants to do right now is attempt to run ads with a strange word that rhyme with “fridge.” And what about the Baked Apple Cinnamon Pizza? Could such a combination of apples and cinnamon really stand on its own without the pairing of some sort of cheese topping? For now, Donald and Melania are just as happy pouring their employees—who very quickly I would guess will have been injured by Baked Apple Cinnamon Pizza—with pumpkin pie.

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