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Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Stephen Colbert speaks on the truth of the American political system

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Stephen Colbert showed off his best Lincoln-Douglas face on Thursday night, as he riffed on the events that concluded the third presidential debate, held at the University of Nevada Las Vegas.

“Donald Trump’s return to political debate turned more like Carson’s second blowout loss, and he was pretty pissed about it,” Colbert began his closing monologue. “This is the sort of presidential debate that has MSNBC suddenly declaring two-day Election Day betting lines.”

And while the crowd booed and hooted, Trump let everyone know he wasn’t too upset, as he began to lay out the “top five things the American people wanted to know,” Colbert explained.

Trump said that Hillary Clinton “shucked and jived” after “kicking everything” in the first debate. “She killed it, if I may put it that way,” he said.

When it came to throwing out a line about the “ho hum” workers in the mines, Clinton seemed to sit there like everyone else waiting for more exciting quotes from the GOP nominee. “I’m sure she thinks the miners are sitting in their cubicles wondering what’s wrong with Hillary Clinton,” he said.

But when it came to debate #5 — the concession, as the reality star said it — Trump threw out an enthusiastic “oh, I’m sure she’s really happy.”

“It’s hard to make a concession look like a concession,” Colbert said, half-joking. “I mean, a concession never looks like a concession.”

Meanwhile, Clinton finally got the chance to punch back, as she defended Trump’s infamous hot mic tape, before turning to the use of the “b word.”

“He wanted to host ‘Celebrity Apprentice,’ which would’ve been amazing because Donald Trump would have been an even bigger star than Donald Trump,” she said.

And after three and a half hours of watching political candidates debate each other, Colbert said, America was left with some unanswered questions:

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